I have been done nursing for about 2 months now and the weaning process was so bittersweet. On one hand it was such a special time for Paislee and I and I loved having that connection with her but I also was getting tired of feeling like a feeding machine. After 2 years I decided I was done, and although sometimes I still miss that special time I am also relieved to be done.

My goal was always to nurse her for 2 years. So I am pretty proud of myself for nursing her that long. I know some people choose to only nurse for 6 months-a year and that is totally a personal choice. Heck some people choose not to breast-feed at all or can't. To each their own, whatever works for you and your little one!

The first few times I breast fed were pretty easy, even though Paislee was technically premature and had such a small mouth she latched on really well right away. Once we got home that all changed, it seemed like she had forgot how to latch and when she did finally latch on I felt like she wasn't getting enough. Since she was barely 5 pounds when we brought her home I was pretty paranoid about her weight and making sure she was getting enough to eat. I started giving her  a bottle of milk that I had pumped to try and keep track of how much she ate. Once I was satisfied with her drinking enough I would nurse her for a little while. This is when it became excruciatingly painful.

Around the 2 week mark breast-feeding turned into torture for me. She was finally latching on perfectly and just when I thought I got the hang of it the pain started. I got mastitis twice the first month. It was horrible, Im guessing this was caused

by her not nursing very good and then all the sudden nursing and drinking way more then she used to so my boobs were trying to produce enough to keep her satisfied. On top of having mastitis I go blisters on my nipples. Im sure you can imagine how painful it is to have a baby sucking on raw, blistered nipples. I cried every time I nursed her and even thought about giving up, but somehow I pushed through the pain and prayed for God to give me strength to do what I thought was best for my baby.
Luckily after 2 weeks the pain went away completely and I started to enjoy nursing. She wasn't given a bottle again for months because I wanted to exclusively breast-feed and that worked out well for us.

From month 2 to about 16 months I really enjoyed nursing, it was such a special bonding time for us and plus I loved all the cuddles. Then the biting stage happened. I tried several different things to get her to stop but she did it no matter what I tried. I contemplated stopping at that point, and its like she sensed I was about to give up because she all the sudden stopped biting my during nursing sessions!

Fast Foreword to a week before her 2nd birthday. It kinda just hit me randomly one day that I was done and was tired of having a toddler attached to my boob constantly so I quit cold turkey. She was not a fan of this and was definitely not ready to wean but at that point I had reached my goal of nursing her for 2 years and knew it was time. It took her about 2 weeks to stop asking and then one day she just got over it and moved on.

Its been 2 months since I stopped nursing and some days I do miss it, like the days she doesn't want any cuddles or when she is really upset but for the most part I am relieved. Although in December I will be nursing another baby:)

My breast feeding journey was a special one and I will always cherish those moments Paislee and I shared! I encourage anyone who is having a rough time nursing to push through it, I promise you it is so worth it. If you need any help with nursing there are tons of awesome resources and support groups out there!

Its been nice to have a little break between babies before I turn into a feeding machine again:)